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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Spam Haiku: Monster in Your Pants


This goes out to wendyb in NYC, by special request.

Subject line of spam message:
Don’t miss it out! Grow a monster in your pants for New Year!

Spam Haiku #1:
A new year to grow
You can become a monster
You will not miss out

Spam Haiku #2:
You will not miss out
Grow a monster in your pants
The new year is yours

Monday, December 10, 2007

Spam Haiku: War and Warriors


Here's another piece of Spam Haiku, based on a message I received about (what else?) a male’s size.

Subject line of spam message:
If your warrior of love is too small, you may lose this war

My Spam Haiku:
It is not too small
I’m your warrior of love
I won’t lose this war

Fashion Find: Dressing Room Help


This is what every dressing room needs. (This came from a Green Rohini, a shop in Sherman Oaks, CA.)

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Handbag Happy: Back in Black


I could write at great length about the subject of handbags, but I will be short here and write only that I love them a lot. Oh, and I collect them. Okay, okay, calling myself a "collector" is perhaps a not-so-clever way to mask an obsession—fine, I'll admit it. I consider the tote to be a cousin to the handbag and I picked up this one today. I wasn't shopping for a new bag when I went into Fred Segal and saw that the salesperson was holding this, looking for a spot on the already-filled shelving display. I saw the side of the bag and said, "Ooh, I’ll take it." She thanked me for saving her the trouble of rearranging the display and I felt very helpful. Seriously, it made me laugh when I saw it hanging from her arm. (It's from 2k by Gingham, by the way.) I also have an AC/DC sweatshirt, which I picked up at a thrift store. While I like AC/DC as much as the next girl who loves rock & roll, the reason I bought it was because it's that old, soft, broken-in fleece you can only find vintage. The sweatshirt happens to be my most talked-about item of clothing. I usually wear it to get coffee in the morning or to jog on the boardwalk by the beach and someone always gives me the devil horns finger sign or starts singing AC/DC songs—usually “Back in Black.” So, you see why I really needed to have this bag.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Spam Art, Spam Haiku


Boing Boing, my favorite blog, posted about an artist who uses Spam lines in her letter-blocked art. Genius. I've been working on more spam haiku efforts, but I'm experiencing some writer's block. Inspiration doesn't strike me easily when faced with subject lines like "Turn your trouser mouse into a monster schlong in 2008!" This is the best I've got from the in-box this morning:


Subject line of spam message:
Extraordinary savings bountiful selections pharmacology

My spam haiku:
The bountiful deal
It's extraordinary
The pills are all yours

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Photo taken from the passenger seat of a car: Don't Walk


I like to take photos when I'm in the passenger seat of a car, holding the camera out the window and snapping when I see something that piques my curiosity. This started with my pocket digital camera and lately I've tried it with my fancy new camera (but because the photos are taken from a moving vehicle, the photo quality is pretty much the same). I took this shot today driving on Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills. Yikes. This is one of those signs that pedestrians might actually heed. I don't live in the area so I don't know how long this damaged sign has stood there, but I think it's probably much more effective this way. Would you dare crossing this intersection after coming upon this sign? I can't help but call it "accidental" marketing.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Spam Haiku: Weight Loss



Here's another piece of Spam Haiku, based on a message I received (one of many) about a diet pill called Anatrim.

Subject Line of Spam Message:
Achieve picture perfect weight and enjoy life

My Spam Haiku:
How to enjoy life?
Achieve picture perfect weight
Life will be perfect

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Spam Haiku: Bigger is Better


I get a lot of spam and the subject is usually about enlargement of the male member. But because some legitimate e-mail is placed in my spam folder, I make a point to see what's there—and sometimes I'm mesmerized by the smutty subject lines. Recently, I began to use the subject lines to compose Spam Haiku. Here is one:

Subject line of spam message:
She will love you more than any other guy

My spam haiku:
She will love you more
You—bigger than any guy
Bigger than before

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Clip to Check: Skater Dater


One of our favorite blogs (Boing Boing) included a post on a movie from the '60s called Skater Dater. The name alone is enough to make you want to watch. The clip is the opening of the movie and features lots of cute boys skateboarding on the street with super-rad surf guitar music in the background. We dare you to watch this without smiling.--Stef McDonald

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Not making this up: Optomist's Creed


I had breakfast at a place in Ventura by the harbor and this banner with "The Optomist's Creed" was hanging on the wall next to the table. I know I'm a little jaded because I thought it was a joke. Also, I looked around for posters of kittens hanging from trees but found none. Optomist International? Really? My orange juice glass was obviously only half-full, plus the coffee was weak (but don't get me started on weak coffee). It turns out that there's really an Optomist International; it's a non-profit that's been around for almost 100 years that has optomist clubs for kids to help them feel good and reach their potential etc. etc. Here is the creed, which isn't so clear in the photo. (Warning: it's so feel-good that your teeth might ache a little while you read it. But I can't help but be fascinated.)

Promise Yourself-

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

Google Search: What's the point?

I can distract or amuse myself easily by typing random thoughts in the Google search bar and seeing what comes up. What's especially amusing is seeing what shows up under the "sponsored links" section on the right. Yesterday was one of those wish-I-had-a-do-over days and I typed in "what's the point?" Below is what came up under "sponsored links."

You hate life because you're
a brainwashed zombie!
dreamsofadventure.us